Two weeks in my new place of employment & position and I’ve agreed to transfer to another building to be part of a team that provides therapy in my clinical specialty. It was my choice to make this change. It wasn’t because I didn’t like my current position, but because I have an opportunity to return to my specialty. At first glance, this is a good thing; however, when you think about all the major changes that have occurred in the last 10 months, especially within the last 6 weeks, it is really a dumb thing for me to do right now. In retrospect, I should have said no and let The Powers That Be know I would want to be considered for a future position with this team of therapists next year when assignments would change. I can’t change my mind now. I am replacing another therapist and a new one is taking my place at the end of the month. It just so happens that the person I’m replacing specializes in the same area and there aren’t many of us in this field who have this particular skill set.

I need to slow down and stop living out of boxes. Yes, I’m living out of boxes. I haven’t finished unpacking. Hell, I just finished getting my crap out of my ex-husband’s house. The boxes are driving me nuts and my OCD is off the charts. What’s the problem? Over half of the boxes are work-related. They need to go to my new office. I can imagine the conversation any of my friends or family members could have with me.

“You had a new office. Why didn’t you take it there?”

“I needed to sort out what was appropriate for the age levels of my clients.”

“Okay, so take the appropriate items to your office.”

“I’m moving to another building and am going to have a totally different age group of clients. I’ve got to sort everything again. While I’m at it, I need to throw out what I haven’t used in a few years then totally reorganize my filing system and desk. Oh wait, look at my comic book collection. I need to redo that too. While I’m at it, I think I’ll rearrange the study so I can make better use of space”  This is a glimpse of how my mind begins to go into OCD mode. I see the details but never the big picture. It is worse when I am stressed or have too many changes occurring in a short period of time (like now).

I crave routine. It creates stability. Life has been throwing me a lot of curves lately, and although I’ve handled them adequately, I desperately need a less curves and solid ground for awhile. I need time to unpack both my personal and professional homes in order to settle into my new life. I want to do so many new things like begin belly dancing classes, travel to Europe, Asia, and Australia, take cooking classes, join book clubs, start my private practice, open a karate studio, etc… In order to do those new things, I need to finish what I’ve started (thank you, Soo Bahk Do Moo Duk Kwan) and allow myself time to just “Be”.  It’s similar to floating on water. You lay back and enjoy the tranquility and let the water take you to its destination. When you arrive, you know you need to get off the float and do something new.

I guess I’d better lay down on the float, relax,and enjoy the ride.