I like living a few hours away from my family.  I love and occasionally miss them, but I definitely don’t want to live near them.

They     drive      me     nuts.

In December, I drove home to keep my father company while my step-mother was to have surgery to remove what was left of a malignant lump from her breast. Just as I was exiting the freeway to get to the hospital, my dad calls and tells me that the surgery wasn’t going to happen and to meet them at the house.  I hadn’t seen them in 5 months.  They don’t have visitors over since my step-mother’s immune system is compromised as she undergoes treatment.

At first it was a warm reception and I learned why the surgery was suddenly rescheduled. I listened to them talk about her treatment and their plan to take a trip once the doctor approved her for travel. They began to ask me questions about my career, martial arts, social life, etc… then I mentioned a problem I was having with my ex-husband (it’s difficult to get your name off a mortgage after a divorce). It was at that point my step-mother expressed I “got screwed” in my divorce and went on to tell me how I did nothing right to take everything I could from him.

Ugh

I reminded her that he was a contributing factor to my depression and one of the reasons why I had checked in a hospital. I lived with his emotional abuse for 15 years and when I moved out of our house, I flourished. She stopped taking for a few seconds then said, “And that’s another reason why you got screwed!”

I sat there for 20 minutes listening to her rant until my uncle came over to check on my parents. The conversation changed to politics and how a particular businessman running for president is just what this country needs. There was no debate. There was no conversation. It was another hour of hate speech that made me cringe.  My dad sat in his chair reading the paper and didn’t say a word.  I felt like was back in high school and was reminded of a time I was forced to listen to why a boyfriend I had was no good for me and how they (my step-mother) were going to make me grow up by sending me away to college.

Suddenly, I remembered I wasn’t 18 but 48.  I have a happy and healthy life three hours away from them. They don’t know about my alternate lifestyle, my friends, the people I consider family, or that I am actively involved in my community. I’m a successful woman who can stand on her own. I am a survivor of two sexual assaults and a 15-year emotionally abusive D/s marriage. Yes, I have my ups and downs but I am a warrior and survivor.

I was ready to head back home after an hour and a half of “catching up.”

~A. Mac