I have been involved in martial arts off and on since 1997. I’ve had to take a few breaks over the years to take care of family, finish graduate school, relocate, heal from illness and injuries, etc…, but no matter what temporarily blocked my path, my martial art was something I could consistently count on returning to.  Learning hyungs, punching/kicking techniques, etc… was a wonderful way to bring my mind and body together.  It helped me manage my stress and feel less depressed.  Learning how to defend myself was an added bonus.  I took my training seriously and found the time to get to the dojang two to three times a week for many years until I returned to the Lone Star State.

Neither of my ex-husbands or my immediate family, excluding my niece and nephews, were supportive of my passion. They weren’t interested in my classes, tests, tournaments, social gatherings, etc… When I moved back to Texas, I learned there were no local studios that taught my art. The closest studios were two to three hours away. After e-mailing five studio owners, one instructor responded and offered an alternate training schedule. I was elated to find someone willing to help me with my training and guide me on my martial arts journey. My ex-husband, parents, sister, and friends could not understand why I would drive so far just to attend a particular martial arts class.  My ex would often tell me that I was wasting money, time, gas, etc… when I came home from a night of training. He reluctantly went to my black belt test and griped about the three hours it took to complete the test. He refused to go to the promotion dinner when my test results came back from Headquarters.  It was at that point I finally realized that I didn’t need anyone’s approval or support to continue this journey, so  I stopped sharing martial arts stories, inviting them to events, or talking about the interesting people I trained with.

Five years later, I find myself surrounded by my family of choice, friends, and boyfriend who encourage me to continue my journey, allow me to practice self-defense techniques on them, and take care of my dog the nights I embark the three-hour trip to the dojang.  Given the past history with my family and ex-husband, I was reluctant to accept this support and silently waited for it to disintegrate.  My boyfriend wanted to meet my martial arts family, see a tournament, and attend my 2nd degree test. My family of choice and friends asked questions regarding the history and philosophy of my art and invited me to teach a few self-defense classes within their community.  A few of them asked if they could go to class with me!

I find myself  continually wondering why my biological family and former spouse are so contrastingly different from my family of choice, friends, and boyfriend. A part of me expects the bridge to my martial arts world to collapse at any moment.  Another part of me wants to open all the doors and windows to my world and let as many people in as I possibly can.  Deep down, I know I need to stop thinking about the past, worrying about the future, and accept the present.  I have people in my life who love and support me, which is all that really matters.  In the words of Al Franken’s character, Stuart Smalley, “I am good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!”

A. Mac