Do you remember the TV show Home Improvement?   The main character, Tim Taylor played by Tim Allen,  was an accident-prone handyman who’s home improvement projects sometimes had disastrous results.  Well, I am the Tim Taylor of fixing things with Gorilla Glue.  Don’t believe me?  Here is a documented history of my misadventures with the evil adhesive.

April 2011

So maybe using Super Gorilla Glue to reattach rubber trim to my utility room floor wasn’t my brightest idea.  Somehow I glued my foot to the floor.  Thank goodness I was wearing socks.  Now I have a hole in what was my favorite pair of socks.

 January 2012

Another unfortunate accident with Gorilla Glue.  This time it involves a ceramic Christmas ornament, 3 fingernails, 5 fingers, hairline along the forehead, shoes, and carpet.  That stuff is pure evil and I may be the Tim Taylor of fixing things with stupid Gorilla Glue.

 March 2013

What do Gorilla Glue, sandals, fingers, toes, palm, t-shirt, and granite have in common?

A) tried to repair sandals B) got hand stuck on t- shirt C) fingers and toes stuck together D) palm, fingers, shirt, and sandal stuck to granite E) stupid things you do before you go to work F) all of the above

June 2013

Gorilla Glue strikes again!  Fingers, tape, counter (Thank God for granite), and a fingernail.

June 2014

Those of you who know me well and my history with Gorilla Glue know that I always get stuck to something. I needed to fix a pair of sandals and thought I would be smart and do the repair on the back patio. Needless to say, my fingers got stuck to the shoe and have the damn stuff on my fingertips. What does this mean? I apparently need constant supervision or Gorilla Glue should kept out of my reach. This is the 5th Gorilla Glue incident. Ugh

The latest misadventure occurred a few days ago.    I contacted my best friend, who is well aware of the history of my attempts to repair objects, to share my latest snafu.  When she asked what happened I tell her, “I needed to fix a part of my dining room chair. Let’s just say the little piece of wood was stuck on my right middle fingernail then the glue made its way to my left thumb and index finger. Now I have glue on a total of 4 fingers, one fingernail, and both thumbs.” She howled with laughter and inquired if I had finally learned my lesson.  I assured her I had.

My significant other didn’t know about my trials and tribulations with GG.  I shared my Gorilla Glue stories with him.  He looked at me in disbelief so I found all of my Facebook posts relating to Gorilla Glue and had him read each post.  He hands the iPad back and says, “Five times?”

“Well six if you count today.”

“You are no longer allowed to use Gorilla Glue.”

I need to come with a warning label.