It all started with a friend posting kitten pictures on her Facebook page.  The pictures reminded me of my cat who passed away three years ago.  After a month of discussions with my significant other regarding the the pros and cons of adding a kitten to our life, we reached an agreement and the little bundle of black and white fluff immediately became a part of our family.   I will be the first to admit, she has brought love, joy, entertainment, and terror into our household.   This little spitfire is unlike any cat I’ve ever had.  She is a 4th generation barn cat and came to live with us when she was around 4 weeks old.

Welcome to The Kitana Chronicles

This is documentation of my account of living with our little feline warrior.

6/9 Meet Kitana as in Princess or Lady Kitana from Mortal Kombat. Yes, we’re nerds. She has made herself right at home.

6/10 She played for nearly 90 minutes before curling up next to me a falling asleep. Neither of us have had a kitten in our lives in 17-25 years. I raised a 4 week-old kitten in ’98 and she passed away in 2014. This little girl is making two humans and a Golden Retriever very happy (especially when she’s asleep lol).

6/11 Within the last 36 hours, 4 week-old Kitana has decided K’s goatee is the bomb, Bailey’s water dish makes a great swimming pool, my hair is her chew toy, our chests are her bed, the wine rack is her jungle gym, and her fur is too good for Bailey’s saliva. She is going to keep us on our toes!

6/12 Kitana rolled off the couch, landed on Bailey’s back, then used B’s back as a launching pad to jump & run across the living room.

6/13 She insisted I get up at 5:30 this morning, walked all over my keyboard as I attempted to type, and learned how to climb the recliner to use it to jump over to the couch. She is running Bailey and I ragged. Then there are these moments where she is so damned cute that I forget how much supervision she needs. I’ve never seen a cat with one black and one white eyebrow. This just adds to her cuteness. Her eyes are going gray. She goes to the litter box on her own now and ate a little bit of kibble for the first time.

6/15 Kitana is possessed by the demonic god of Felines.

6/18 Every time Kitana cuddles on my shoulder, neck, or chest I fall asleep.

6/19 I miss the days where I could read and type on my iPad without getting attacked or bitten by a demonic kitten, I mean a cute and cuddly kitten who wants attention.

6/24 How do you teach a teething kitten not to fuck with you until you’ve had a cup of coffee?

6/25 Oh dear, Kitana got her first cat toy (a squeaky furry mouse) and Bailey thinks it’s hers to retrieve.

6/27 Demon kittens who wake you up at 3 and again at 5:30 AM to play are on my list. Obviously Bailey failed to communicate in her pet orientation that I am not a pleasant person when sleep is disturbed.

6/27 Aaand she just figured out how to jump on the couch! She now jumps up, runs by and nips me, then jumps off. Repeat 1000 times. I don’t remember my previous cats doing this when they were kittens.

6/27 That moment when you’re involved in an online conference for most of the day and your kitten learns she can jump up on the couch. She excitedly runs over to you but gets distracted by the laptop and runs across the keys that sends a funky message to 300 other speech-language pathologists.

6/29 Afternoon naps cuddled with a cute kitten are the best!

6/30 Bailey and Kitana are chasing each other around the apartment. I’m sure my downstairs neighbor doesn’t mind the noise at all.

7/1 Guess who learned how to climb on the bed? I woke up to a kitten staring at my face. When I started to go back to sleep, she began licking my face then bit my chin. Lovely.

7/2 If my only purpose in life was to be the chew toy of a teething evil kitten, then I have succeeded and have nothing else to look forward to. On the other hand, maybe all the bite marks and scratches are to remind me that it’s time for another tattoo.

7/7 Demon kitten wanted to play late last night while we were sleeping. She bit my legs through the sheet, so I put her on the floor. She didn’t attempt to get back on the bed for the rest of the night and I slept soundly. When I got ready to take Bailey to the groomer, I noticed the bathroom trash was knocked over, all my pens were on the living room floor (Kitana hunts them), a water bottle and empty plastic cup were knocked over, and K’s socks were scattered in the living room. I think this may have been her way of saying, “F you!”

7/7 Dropped Bailey off at PetCo for grooming. The house is quiet and I’m enjoying a cup of coffee and writing. Apparently, my typing is annoying Kitana. I keep getting glares from her as it appears I’m disturbing her nap. Really?

7/10 Kitana goes beserk every night between 11p and 1a. Just as we get settled into bed, she ran across the bed and bit my nose! Thirty minutes later, just as I drift off, I hear a loud noise coming from K’s side of the bed. I turn on the lamp to see her sitting on top of his laundry hamper playing with the pulls of our window blinds. K stops snoring. I walk around the bed to take her out of our room and he says, “Kitten 2 Us 0” then immediately goes back to snoring. I’m wide awake now.

7/10 O M G, tiny Kitana just ran 75 lb Bailey off of her bed and took over her Nyla bone! WTH?

7/11 “Kitana has quite the personality. She seems very spirited.” This is what the vet tech says as Kitana attempts to jump from the exam table to the counter. She made herself right at home at the vet’s office this morning.

7/15 A kitten and her dog. 

7/26 Kitana is in “cuddle mode” this morning. I’m cautious to let down my guard since she has been stalking and attacking me for the last 3 days.

7/30 #%*!ing Kitana bit my lip for the 2nd time in a week. This one is gonna leave a scar.

8/6 That moment when you’re enjoying a hot bath and your kitten takes a running leap in an attempt to jump to the edge of the bathtub and slides across and lands in the bathtub with you. Amazingly, I am not scratched and Kitana is ok. I may have to bathe her though because I had been soaking in Epsom salt with eucalyptus.

8/14 Kitana discovered the joys of toilet paper while I was at work today.

8/21 A week ago she decorated the living room and bathroom with toilet paper. Today, Kitana, aka Vampira, Demon Kitty, and Devil Girl, figured out how to jump from the edge of the bathtub to the counter. She also decided she was taking over Bailey’s food bowl and that I was an acceptable bridge to use to get to across the bathtub while I soaked. Unfortunately, she got a tad close to a tea light candle and the bathroom smelled of burnt hair. She is fine and is currently zooming around the apartment chasing something that only she can apparently see.

9/8 Some people have kids trying to get your attention while taking on the phone making it difficult to converse with the person in the other end. I have a Kitana attacking my arm repeatedly while I’m talking to my sister on the phone. I have bites and scratches while my sister may have hearing loss from me yelling at Kitana.

9/10 I have a kitten that hunts loose change!

9/14 Q tips, cork, and tissues. This is what the mighty kitten huntress known as Kitana hunts this week. She has figured out how to get Q tips out of the jar (we realized we didn’t put the lid back on), grab cork out of my cork collection (had to take the dry cork away from her and give her the synthetic cork), and pull tissues out of the box.